Yeah, I’ve heard it, I know it, but IT’S HARD when you have days where your heart just breaks, and you feel like just crying.
Today I sent both of my boys to school Crying.
Both.
This has never happened.
And the crazy thing is, there is no logical excuse for it happening. We had a little bit of a rough morning (it took us longer to get their rooms cleaned before school, but nothing big!), and the boys both got a good night sleep, and were excited and ready to be at school. They both had smiles on their faces, backpacks on their backs, and were chattering away until we got to their classroom doors. Then what happened? I don’t know, at their doors, they both fell apart.
Tucker began crying as the students began lining up for school. And wanting to be at home playing with me instead of at school, and wanting me to be there to pick him up, the second it was over. After a bit of talking, hugging, expressing love, he went into class. Still a little teary eyed, but okay.
So we rushed home, gathered Trumans stuff, and ran off to preschool. Truman got to be the special helper today. He has been talking about this day for WEEKS. He chose to take Oreos for snack, and was so excited to be able to pass them out, and lead the class, and so on and so on. We walked in his building, and all of the sudden, right as we were about to walk into the classroom, he just froze and started to bawl. He didn’t want to go either. He wanted to go home. Again, after some talking, hugging, and looking at the fun pumpkin stamp they were using today, Truman decided to go (I knew this day meant so much to him!). Again, he was still teary eyed, but okay (and even a little bit excited to use the stamp), so I left.
Then I got home. I just sat in my kitchen for a few minutes, and wondered what had happened today, I was kind of in shock. I came to no conclusions, as to why today happened as it did. There is nothing harder than walking away from your little ones when they are upset, (even if it is just a little bit). And I began to rack my brain for preventive solutions for next time. Did they need more sleep? No. Were they hungry? No. Were they feeling a big emotion? No. And on and on, and on. But came up with nothing….
But then as I begin to take an ‘Eternal Perspective’ and realized that our Savior does not swoop down and make everything alright for us when we have our trials. He gives us tools, like the comforter, to aide us through our hard times, but he doesn’t solve our problems for us. As a mom, I so often want to make the world a perfect place for my children and help them solve their problems, but we don’t live in a perfect world, and I can never make it so. So today I am reminded, yet again, of how important it is to give my children the tools and teach them the important things they need to survive in this crazy world we live in. And begin to wonder now, what have I taught them?
Because no matter how well things are going, we need them. Even on those good mornings, when seemingly nothing is wrong.
And yet again, their is the reminder that being a parent is rough. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m just getting into it…so many things I still have to learn.
Matching Superman Hats, Superman Gloves, warm coats and Granola Bars.
And everything is always better under the kitchen table. Right?
The boys spent the day winterizing the yard, it was a brisk fall day. And thanks to their winter weather gear, they spent a lot of time outside, and enjoyed the first cup of hot cocoa of the season.
Hurray for change of seasons, and change of pace, and cute boys.
Last week, we went with some friends on a ‘Witch Hunt’ as Tucker and Truman called it, around Gardner Village. This place is so much fun, and thanks to some advice of a friend, we printed off a paper before hand about the witches. When we found them all,
and had written down there locations,
And taken a few pictures, (Tucker was not happy that I was making him sit next to a girl witch)
we took our paper to the Bakery for a cookie.
The boys had a great time running around finding the witches, and it was such a beautiful day, it was hard to believe it was Fall! We had a good time, and I think we’ll make this a yearly tradition.
I love conference weekend, or as Christopher calls it, Pajama Church. I love the messages we hear from the leaders of our church. I always leave feeling uplifted, and wanting to be and become a better person. This time we were up to Logan-town again, and had a great time.
Here are the pics, and some highlights.
We found the material for Tuckers Costume (more details on that to come),
I got the awesome-est birthday present, the swivel sweeper. My floors have never been cleaner.
Toph took the boys and Dallin Paul to the Home Depot building project. They built fire engines, and Dallin Paul totally got in on the action. They are all good little builders.
Of course there was omelets, a Phillips Family tradition, and boy were they delicious!
The boys did awesome listening to conference, thanks to conference treats, conference books, coloring Grandpa’s Legs, and looking at stories with Grandma.
Also, Toph and I were able to get away for a few minutes, and visited Frederico’s. They have the best Ham and Cheese Salads. I have been craving that ever since we left. I think I could eat that every day, and not get sick of it, with of course the garlic bread.
And a good walk with Michael and Madalyn (and Dodger the dog) to feed the horses during priesthood.
We had a great time in Logan town!
A catch up post as I haven’t posted in along time, and life just keeps on moving! So I apologize for the length!
I can not even begin to tell you how happy I am to state that the pregnancy fog is finally starting to lift a little bit, and I really am starting to feel a little bit better every day. Thanks Goodness! It is nice to have glimpses of normalcy again, and feel like I am not totally and completely falling behind in every aspect of my life.
As far as blogging goes, I am still behind, and unfortunately I don’t see that changing anytime soon, so for now, I will try to remember the awesome moments, and record them when I get a day when I don’t feel like I am chasing life!
So for the latest catchups:
Lately Truman has had more of a twinkle in his eye, and is full of sugar and mischief.
He is so sweet when he wants to be, and yet can be mischievous–Not in a bad way, just figuring out how the world works
With a couple days a week at preschool, Truman takes one day at a time and is looking forward to our trip to the pumpkin patch later this week. Before he started school, we began practicing writing his name. He just writes ‘Tru’ for now, but is learning how to add the Man to his name 🙂
I can’t even begin to tell you how happy those upside down u’s make me feel! He does it whenever he spells his name, here he is with some of my scrapbook letters–cutie.
Tucker has gotten into the swing of life with Kindergarten. I do hear an occasional grumble about going every day, but for the most part, he is loving going to school. I am loving the fact that we are close enough to walk him there and pick him up. We get to really chat, and it is becoming one of my favorite parts of the day. He tells me what book bear chose out to read that day, what happened at recess, the other children he is getting to know (And if they are pants-puller-upers like him, an important categorization in his eyes) and funny other things that happen throughout the day. I am dreading the weather changing, and the thought of having to bundle up to go out (we’ve only had one day where we’ve had to bundle up).
But on that same note, am not picturing any sixth grader excited to walk to school with his mom. So I shouldn’t complain about the weather.
For me, I am enjoying life right now. I must admit, I do love the changing of the seasons. I do love fall, the cool weather, the colors, the smell, back to school, our birthdays, I love everything until the leaves start to fall, and our lives become consumed with raking.
Last week Tucker picked this sunflower from our garden and took it to his teacher, he didn’t really want me to take a picture, but I couldn’t resist, maybe he’s got a crush?
She is an amazing teacher, and is challenging Tucker and keeping him interested in school. I can’t wait to get into the classroom and volunteer, to see what life is really like there for him, and his peers, with this beloved teacher of theirs! Knowing tucker is in such good hands makes me happy, and him happy. Such a blessing to have good people in your life and the lives of your children.
Here is a shot of the baby bumpage. (hurray for being over half way done!)
Totally there, and he is not super active, he already is on kind of a schedule, and I love to lay in bed at night, and to feel him kicking. (Which inevitably happens right as I get into bed, and start to relax, and right as I am about to drift off to sleep.–which I hope he doesn’t get used to. When he is here, I am want him to be sleeping when I am sleeping!)
Another sign that I am feeling better, is I am able to laugh about some of the things that have made me sick during this pregnancy.
For some reason about 3:00-4:00 is a hard hour in the day for me. Therefore we save our TV time for that time. One of the shows we’ve come to love is Word Girl.
The boys love her, she’s a superhero, and I love her too! But I don’t love the meat attacks from one of the villians, the butcher. I don’t know what it is, but seeing that much raw meat all over a person, just makes me sick!
Lately the book the boys just LOVE is the original Curious George. This picture actually made me sick with the other two pregnancies too! But I got over it.. but it’s back!
This picture of George, makes me sick. Really sick. I have even hidden the book, but the boys keep finding it! I need to learn to hide things better!
And of course there are the usual things, chinese food, tuna fish and etc. 🙂
Another sign I am feeling better? We made it back up to the Children’s Museum. (it has been months, since I have had the energy to think about going, let alone actually go!) We all still love this place, and find new ways to play everytime we go there. I keep thinking the boys might be getting tired/bored of this place, as we have frequented it many times, but they just don’t! With their developmentally changing, they seem to find new things that intrege them. So pics from our latest adventure.
The boys still adore their father, and what’s not to love about him? He even helps them build a table out of the neighbors scraps from their deck.
They’ve eaten dinner/snacks on it, and Tuckers latest plan is to collect bugs and sell them from ontop of it. Silly, silly boy. He even draws pictures about it and brings them home from school.
It’s nice to see pictures that are not about robots. He brings home pictures daily, and a large portion are robots. Some things never die, like his passion for robots.But anyways, back to the pictures, again, Kindergarten has expanded his view, the other day he brought this picture home and said, Mom this is for you.
Variety is the spice of life! Love this rainbow.
Also, a few weeks ago, thanks to some good friends, Tuck and Toph were able to attend a BYU football game. It was a big day, which started off with a family trip to ‘a day out with Thomas the Tank Engine’ at the toy store.
Then Toph and Tuck went off to the game (I only have a picture of the tickets, as I took the camera!),
Tru and I had a date. We went to Fuddruckers for a delicoius hamburger, and to a fun, fun, park with friends. It is nice to have one on one time. I’m looking forward to some time with Tuck too!
We’ve also finally gotten the boys room fully put together! The bookshelf moved in, the bunkbeds straightened, and the room totally dejunked.
(notice that above Tuckers desk, he has removed the pictures of Jesus and the temple, and hung up Bionicle/robot pictures…hmm…) Having it clean is such a good feeling, I only wish they stayed like this all the time! 🙂
Hurray for harvest time,
although I was not feeling totally up to canning things, it did feel good to get some Peach Fruit Leather,
Peach Fruit Jam and Applesauce made (Apples and Peaches from our tree). Maybe next year I will be feeling up to being more ambitious!
Super Saturday is fast approaching, and we had our first display last weekend, look at this darling material I used for a project, don’t you love it?
Also, we had our Stakewide Humanitarian Event. I can’t even begin to tell you what an awesome day that was! We have been working hard all year round for this day. We put together over 400 school kits, 400 newborn kits, gathered over 300 quilts, and tied over 35 quilts that day. It was so neat to see all of our hard work come together. I hope to be involved in Humanitarian stuff all of my life. I have felt the blessings of it just flow into our house as we have been working on it. I love it.
Other random things:
Celebrating Birthdays with good friend Hinckley,
Made these darling baby carmel apples (From Family Fun Magazine)for FHE with the Ermolaevs, thanks again for coming guys! We’re so glad to see you again!
It’s amazing when you don’t blog for a month how many fun things you do! 🙂
Hopefully we’ll be back sooner next time. This post took me way too long!
My children are growing older, and the last few weeks it seems like I can visually see them getting bigger on a DAILY basis.
This week is safety week at Tuck’s school. Which he is still loving (if he can just get used to the going every day thing 🙂 )
They have had so many great activities to promote safety: walk to school day (using the cross-walks, etc.), ride your bike to school day (wearing the proper gear)–seeing him riding there especially made him seem so grown up, even with the training wheels,
Bike Obstacle Course, get/decorate a bicycle helmet day (which he wore for a few days, including at breakfast),
track your steps with a pedometer for a day, Stranger Danger Day, Celebrity (local College Mascots) Crossing Guards, water bottles and tomorrow they are giving away two free bicycles per classroom. Tucker has LOVED this week. And watching him participate, and talk about this stuff, makes me realize how BIG he is, not just how big he seems.
Truman too has grown into being a preschooler. Complete with the dress up/superhero/rollerskating antics..
Not one ounce of baby left in him. NONE. He has always been pretty independent, but recently, he just looks older, acts older, and of course actually is older.
But I don’t like watching it happen. it makes me want to freeze time.:) But it is inevitable, and I do love watching them learn. Here are some pics from our field trip to the firestation today, where yet again, I kept looking at Truman and wondering where this grown up boy came from…
And a big deal to Truman, being able to take his own lunch to school, in his own spiderman lunch box…
For now, I am going to treasure the fact that my boys are still small enough to get excited about bike days and lunch boxes. I hope that as they grow up, they’ll still share the things that make them happy with me. Because these boys make me happy.
(no this post is not about me, Emily. This is about my sis-in-law Emily…. Let’s just clarify that from the start! 🙂 ) And yes it is another list. See? I am a chronic list maker.
Anyways, drumroll please…
1–she brings her children to our house, and comes and stays with us.
2–her children are darling, and our kids have such a great time together.
3–I get to stay up late having great conversations, about things like child birth 🙂
4–she just might like the show, Gilmore Girls.
5–she lets us borrow her car, (as ours has been in the shop for a week) so we can do essential things like take Truman to preschool.
6–she gets excited when she gets to go pick up Tuck from school.
7–she can make Ninja Eggs. Yep. Just ask her about it.
8–when she found out we weren’t doing anything big for Toph’s birthday, she stayed an extra day so we could go on a date, and she watched our kids.
9–she gets excited about our DI book finds. (almost as excited as Toph and me)
10–she is a good teacher, and helped me with my bread making phobia, and made these,
they were yummy trust me…
Thanks again Emily for a great few days. Tell you husband to go out of town more often, so you can come hang out with us again. 🙂
After watching your brother go to school for the past few years, you have been excited, and often talked of the days when you could go to school too.
Last week we, mom and dad, went to your ‘meet the teacher’, where you some what hesitantly explored the classroom, and learned about your new environment. You found a pirate ship toy, that you liked, but were confused when there were no pirates to play with. Mrs. Vonda showed you the room, where to put your backpack, where the bathrooms were, and your cubby–Which by the way was marked with a frog symbol.
You looked so grown up, and were so ready to be there, but we could tell you still felt a little nervous. Mom and Dad both watched you, and smiled at each other the whole time…we are so proud of you.
So when it came time this week to drop you off, me and you headed to the school, and you told me your teachers name, and asked if your Walley (Beloved stuffed animal) was still secretly stashed in your backpack, which it was. You smiled a little bit about that.
You were excited to see your classroom and teachers again, you entered, placed your backpack (the spiderman one, which looks Ginormous on your little body) in the slot, and looked around at the other children. We kissed goodbye, and I waited outside the door, to make sure you were okay.
I heard you crying, then I shot of fear rushed through my body, as my mind automatically jumped to the worst case scenario…but shortly thereafter I heard you laughing. That silenced my fears.
I left, and anxiously waited when the time would come for me to go pick you up. Our home felt so empty with out the smiles and laughter of my boys! (luckily for me, Owen, Ava and Em were still here to ease the transition…)
I arrived a few minutes early and waited outside your door, eager to hear how my first day of school went for my trubie.
The kids began to pour out the door, and no Truman, and no Truman and no Truman. I began to get that sick feeling in my tummy again…Then you ecstatically exited tell me, “Mom, it was fun. It was SO fun.” It made my heart skip.
This is a big week for you. Starting school is always an exciting thing, and I am so proud of you, and how you are growing and getting so big!
It makes me want to tell you: remember little man, you may be getting bigger, but you’ll always be my little man…but most of all remember that I love you very, very much.
Because I love lists, and I love him, I thought making a list of things I love about him, might be an appropriate thing to do…
1. I love how you come home from work, empty your pockets, and you have post it notes with random notes on them, and later when I ask you them, you can’t for the life of you figure out why they are important.
2.I love that you bought this song from Itunes, and that you like it too:
3.I love that during the delivery of our children, you were so nervous, and sweet, and excited. And right by my side the whole time.
4. I love how when you’re hungry, you totally cook or make food for yourself, even if it is only a bowl of cereal.
6. I love that you don’t care about the sprinkling system, but knew I cared. So you did it. And it wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t cheap. But you did it anyways.
7. I love that you love to find toys from your childhood, Construx, GI Joes, and play them with the boys.
8. I love that you never complain about being the Children’s Favorite Parent. Even thought I know it’s not always the easiest thing! ( I want daddy to read to me tonight, no I want daddy to read to me! No me! No me!) Not even when they’re both constantly hanging on you…
9. I love that you no longer have an appendix, and that you had to have it out 2 weeks before Truman was born, making me feel like I was going into Labor.
10. I love that you likes Licorice, but not just any licorice, it’s a certain kind, and one of these days, I am going to remember which kind it is. I think red Twizzlers. But I get it wrong everytime. So don’t quote me on that one, but just know, I know that you love some kind of red licorice….. and once I figure it out, I am going to write it down.
11. I love that you are currently reading 7 books. Similtaniously. And that you enjoy a good read, when you can find time for it.
12. I love how every once in awhile you talk in your sleep, and sometimes it’s in Albanian.
13. I love that you love breakfast, but not just any breakfast, a good breakfast.
14. The sound of water. You love it, and find it therapeutic, and want to live someplace close to water for the rest of our lives.
15. You are my Tech support, and a majority of our families too. I love that you are so willing to share this talent with so many people.
16. I love how wild and crazy you are… like when your out late playing strategy board games, like Settlers of Catan. Out of Control I know, but honestly, what’s not to love about that?
17. I love that even though I can’t match your socks (And sometimes I accidentally match the navy ones to the black ones), you don’t ever complain, and just fix it, matching them up right, with out saying a word.
18. Growing up in Idaho Rural Community has done wonders for your love for the state, and how you can belt out the Idaho State song like no ones business.
19. I love that I am married to the real Napolean Dynamite. As you were the original, signing the rose song, and all.
20. I love the fact that you heart Drupal, and that you are a Photoshop wiz. If you don’t know how to do it, you find a free tutorial, and teach yourself how. Amazing, I always just get flustered by those Tutorials. Not you.
21. I love the way you happily walk in the door every day from work. Greet all of us with a smile, and tell us all that you missed us. Everyday.
22. I love that you can flip channels like no one’s business. And when we’re anywhere where there is more than 10 channels, you don’t stop to watch a show, but just flip, flip, flip.
23. I love that you are the best father any kid could want. You even built them a rad treehouse for heaven sakes!
24. I love how you’re always willing to go get food for me when I am pregnant, anything that will sound good, even if it’s a pain!
25. I love that you love Mac Computers. And have converted me, completely. (And that you like the commercials too–)
26. I love that you go by Toph and not Chris. You are Toph or Topher. I love that.
27. I love that one of your goals in life, is knowing where the Lord wants you to be. With work, with family, with church. Everything. I really love that.
28. I love that in your closet, you have all neutral earth colors.
29. I love that you have such kissable lips.
30. I love that sometimes you get up with the kids in the middle of the night, but have forgotten about it by the morning.
31. I love that you could careless about the acolades of the world. You do things because they are goals, or because they need to be done. not for any recognition.
32. I love that everytime you see this video, you fall over laughing. ‘Cause you think it’s so funny.
Happy Birthday Toph, I love you,
Even if you just keep getting older and older 🙂
What is not to love. Have a wonderful day sweetheart, I LOVE YOU!
So, our kids are spoiled. They have so many aunts and uncles who love them.
And after our trip to Disneyland, it was apparent Uncle Eric was loved. He was chosen nearly every ride by either Tucker and Truman, as a ‘riding buddy’.
Eric is my youngest brother, and is an awesome one. And I am not going to wax on, but want him to know that the world is a better place because he is part of it.
